i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
