That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
