Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
