Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
