she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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