Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
