It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
