I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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