Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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