he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
