she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
