yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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