I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
