His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I think a kid would responsible me up
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
