tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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