i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Randomize
