5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
