You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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