Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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