girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
