Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
