I'll bet she douches with gravy.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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