My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
