doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
