Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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