Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
