You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
third nipple confirmed
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
