he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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