life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
