I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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