My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
