so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
