The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
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