But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
