its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize