Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
