dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
