I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
