Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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