just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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