what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
