Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
