So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
