I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
