his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It was a blind-side dick pic.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
