so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
