K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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