I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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