Swine flu. Run for my life!
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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