No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
