4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize