Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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