They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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