hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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