I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
