You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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