i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
