WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
