i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
