My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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