My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
