Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
