We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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