just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
