As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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