laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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