If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
