Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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