People with herpes should wear stickers.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
