I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
