know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
