I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
